Cliche
by SomeSouthParkFan
Summary: Who wants that perfect love story anyway? Who wants that hero love that saves the day anyway? Toast to cliches in a dark past Find out why Cartman and Wendy are on the run!
1. Prologue

This one will be a very short story. I thought I would try to redeem myself by giving you guys a real Candy fic, lol. This is based on the song Part II (On The Run) by Jay Z and Beyonce. Enjoy!

Cliché

Prologue

Wendy's POV

What Eric Cartman and I have is far from perfect. It's a typical case of a good girl falling for the bad boy. I really don't see Cartman as a bad boy, but from the outside looking in that's how he comes off.

They said he wasn't good enough for me. They said he's not my type. They said he'll bring me down. They said he's not perfect. They said I can do much better.

But who wants a perfect love story anyway? That's so cliché! I'm with a man that I love with all my heart and he loves me. Isn't that all that should matter? Instead of seeing me as a good girl gone bad, why can't they see him as a bad guy gone good?

"Looking good babe!" Cartman winks at me. He's in a nice tuxedo while I'm in a nice white dress. We're at a tattoo parlor doing what any normal loving couple does...get each other's names tattooed on us. Cartman got my name tattooed on his neck and I'm getting his tattooed on my right arm.

"Thanks. I love yours. Did it hurt?" I ask him.

"Pfft, I'm bad ass! Of course this little tattoo didn't hurt!"

I laugh at him. I guess that was a silly question. Cartman already has 15 other tattoos, he's use to this pain. For me, this is my first and…OUCH!

"So are you sure you're ready to do this?" He whispers to me.

"I am." I smile.

"You know there's no going back, right?"

I nod. "I know…" Once my tattoo is finished, we leave and get in a car that I don't recognize. I think it may be a stolen car. "Cartman, I don't know about this…" I tell him as he hotwires the car.

"We can't drive in my car or your car, we'll get caught." He takes my hand and we looks down at our rings. "I would do anything to make sure my wife is protected." He kisses my hand. "I love you Mrs. Cartman."

"I love you too Mr. Cartman." We start kissing. In the middle of our make out session, we hear sirens. Cartman quickly pulls away.

"Oh shit, it's the boys! Time to put the pedal to the medal!" He mashes on the gas and drives off. After about 10 minutes he finally slows down. "I think we lost them."

"Thank goodness."

"How about you pour us a drink?" He smirks. I nod. I pour some vodka in a cup for him, I add cranberry juice to mine. "Thanks babe, you're the best!"

"You're welcome!" I hold up my cup. "Cheers!"

He laughs. "What are we toasting to?"

"To us!" I smile and tell him. Not only in this toast to us, but it's also a toast to the clichés in a dark past. We toast and begin drinking. Our journey is just getting started. It's probably going to be a long one. Who knows how long we'll be on the run. So now, our story begins…


	2. Chapter 1

Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them. As I said before, this is going to be a short story, so that chapters are short as well. R&R! Enjoy! :-)

Chapter 1

Two days earlier...

Cartman's POV

"Leave me alone Stan!" I hear Wendy scream. I'm arriving at home and it sounds like Stan maybe in our house.

"I can't believe you're married to that fat fuck! You know we're meant to be together!" I hear Stan yell back at her. "You're having his baby too?"

"Get your hands off of me!"

Suddenly I hear a loud crash and I rush inside. "Wendy?" I look and see her standing over Stan. I walk over to her. "Are you ok?"

She nods slowly. "Is he...dead?"

I kneel down beside Stan and check his pulse. "He has a pulse. He's just unconscious." I stand up and look at her. "What happened?"

"He came over to confront me about leaving him for you. The argument got a little heated and he grabbed me-"

"He grabbed you?" I interrupt. "I'll kill him!"

"Just listen! He grabbed me and started shaking me. I kneed him in the balls and grabbed a vase and hit him in the head."

"Good for you." I pull out my gun and point it towards Stan.

"What at you doing?" She begins to panic.

"I'm about to take out the trash."

"You can't!"

"Why not? He put his hands on you! He could've hurt you or our baby." Wendy is three months pregnant. We just recently announced the news to our families and close friends.

"Yeah, but I took care of that. You can't kill him!"

"We have to do something. He could wake up and try to press charges or something."

"I'll say it was self defense, which it was."

"Still, why take the risk? Let just dump his body somewhere."

"What? Like in a river or something?"

I smile. "I love the way you think, but no. We at least have to get him out of the house...our house."

She nods. "We can take him to an alley."

I nod in agreement. "I'm going to hit him again so he stays out longer and I want you to get his wallet and his phone."

"Why?"

"So he can't be identified."

"So you're trying to kill him?"

"No, but in case someone finds him before he wakes up."

"What if he wakes up before someone finds him?"

"Then we need to move fast! Another reason we need to take his phone…"

Present Time…

Wendy's POV

We took Stan to an abandoned alley way and left him there. We thought our best bet was to get the hell out of town. We panicked over something as small as self defense and it's now turned into robbery and attempted murder and the charges keep coming.

I'm certain by now, Stan has woken up and went to the cops. So now my husband Cartman and I are officially on the run. He even referred to us as a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. It's not as stressful as I thought it would be. With Cartman by my side, I know I'm safe and protected. I bring out a side in him that he didn't even know he had.

We made it to some no name city in Nebraska and decided to crash for the night. We got a hotel room, but we had to abandoned our getaway car so we had to walk about 12 blocks to get to it.

We made love and it was a nice distraction from everything we've been through for the last few days. Unfortunately our love making was interrupted by the sound of police sirens. Cartman gets up and looks out the window.

"Holy crap! The police found us!"

"What are we going to do?"

"Get dressed and get the fuck out of here!" He hands me his gun.

"Cartman…?"

"You go first, and I'll follow. If they catch either of us, I'd rather it be me than you."

"But your gun…"

"It's for protection babe!" He kisses me. "I'm not going to let those pigs harm you or our baby."

"You're so good to me." I smile.

He kisses me again. "Get dressed! Time to get a move on!" Time for us to figure out how to get back on the road again…


	3. Chapter 2

R&R!

Chapter 2

Cartman's POV

I found a Mercedes as our next getaway car. By found, I mean stole. The person in the room next to us just happened to drop their keys while bringing in their luggage. Unfortunate for them, but lucky for us!

We've made it out of Nebraska and now we're in Iowa. I start feeling myself and begin blasting Me and My Girlfriend by Tupac.

"All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend." I sing.

Wendy looks at me and smiles. She decides to sing along. "Down to ride to the bloody end, Just me and my girlfriend!"

We laugh at our horrible singing. I grab her arm and take a look at her Cartman tattoo and smile. "Why are you smiling?" She asks me.

"I'm just admiring your tattoo."

She giggles. "Why? You have a similar one!"

"I know, but I'm thinking about how permanent it is! Just as permanent as our marriage."

"That's right!"

I'm now admiring Wendy's beauty. She's the prettiest woman I've ever seen in my life and I'm lucky enough to call her my wife. Not only is she my wife, but she's my ride or die chick too! She's down for whatever and harder than a lot of dudes I know. I have her back and I can count on her to have my back too.

I love how much she loves me. I look at our rings. I told her when we put them on, we were never taking them off. I stand by that.

I smile at my wife and run my fingers through her hair. I'm still pissed off that Stan put his hands on my wife, the mother of my unborn child. He crossed a line. I should've killed that bastard when I had the chance. I doubt he learned his lesson since we're now on the run, but if he tried that shit again, he won't be so lucky the next time. I refuse to let him hurt her again! Hopefully we won't have to worry about that, Stan's not about that life.

"Why are we stopping?" Wendy asks me as I pull up at a beer and wine store.

"I'm going to buy a scratch off ticket." I inform her.

"Those things are a waste of money."

"I think today might be my lucky day!" I give her a kiss and head into the store.

Wendy's POV

Cartman was right, it was his lucky day! He won $500 from his scratch off ticket. I know it doesn't seem like much, but we need all the money we can get right now.

We got another hotel for the night. This time we paid in cash so we couldn't be identified. As soon as we get settled in our room, we begin to make love again. Once again, we hear police sirens.

"Shit, not again…" Cartman mutters.

"Just ignore it baby."

"How can I? They're probably looking for us."

I shake my head. "They're loud as hell, but they're nowhere near us. Just chill."

"I'm worried about you. I don't want you to get in trouble…"

"If you get in trouble, I get in trouble. We're in this together baby." I kiss him. "I hold your heart and your gun. I don't care if they come for us."

"You're the good girl Wendy, I can't let you get in trouble for any of this. People expect me to get in trouble, my past isn't pretty. I've been wild since I was a juvenile."

I kiss him again. "Without you I have nothing to lose…" We continue making love. Once we're done, we look to see if there are any police cars outside. We're in the clear…for now. We decide to call it night and make sure to get up and get out before the sun comes up tomorrow.

A/N: The next chapter is the last one followed by an epilogue. I told you it's a short story. :-)


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